Friendships are amazing, aren’t they? They bring so much joy, companionship, and a sense of security. But what happens when your friend starts to act possessively?
It’s confusing and can make you question the whole relationship. And sometimes, you may wonder if this is genuinely what friendship should feel like.
It’s hard to understand why a friend would start to act in such a possessive manner. You might start by thinking they are just truly so concerned about you, but regardless you will find yourself at some points wondering why they are becoming overly concerned.
Possessiveness in a friendship can be draining and emotionally taxing.
Think about it, would you want to be in a friendship where you constantly feel suffocated and controlled? Of course not! That’s why it’s important to recognize the signs of possessiveness and take action to protect yourself.
So, are you ready to learn the 5 signs of a possessive friend and what you can do about it? Trust me; you don’t want to miss this!
1. They are Jealous of You
 Your friend becomes overly jealous when you spend time with other people and may try to limit your interactions with them.
Have you ever had a friend who gets super jealous when you hang out with other people? It can be super uncomfortable. They ask all sorts of questions about who you’re with and what you’re doing. And they might even try to forbid you from seeing certain people. Yikes!
And let’s not forget the negative comments they make about your other friends. It’s like they’re trying to sabotage your relationships and make you feel guilty for wanting to spend time with others. It’s not a fair situation to be in, right?
Think about it. Do you feel like you have to justify your actions to your friend all the time? Or like you have to choose between your friend and your other relationships? This possessiveness can really take a toll on you. So, it’s important to recognize the signs and know what to do about it.
2. They are Controlling
Your friend insists on knowing your whereabouts at all times and gets upset if you don’t respond to their messages right away.
Your friends wanting to know your every move can be suffocating. They check in on you like a hawk, asking where you are and what you’re up to. And if you don’t answer right away or don’t share your plans in advance, they get angry or upset. It’s like you’re being monitored 24/7!
Have you ever felt like you’re walking on eggshells, always careful not to upset them? The constant need for control and surveillance can make you feel like you’ve lost your privacy. Do you really need to ask for permission to make your own decisions?
It’s frustrating, right? It can tire you out and make you feel trapped like you can’t be yourself. You might even try to avoid them, but that just complicates things even more. So, what do you do? How do you deal with this possessiveness?
3. They are Clingy and Selfish
Your friend pressures you to cancel plans with other people in order to spend time with them.
Friends like this act like they’re the only one who truly cares about you. They make plans with you even when you already have other plans, hoping you’ll choose them.
Can you relate? It’s like being pulled in different directions, and you start questioning their attention-seeking behaviour. They don’t respect your boundaries and expect you to prioritise friendship.
Think about it, do you feel like you have to choose between your friend and your other obligations? It can make you feel guilty for not choosing them like you’re not a good friend.
But here’s the thing, it’s okay to have a life outside the friendship. It’s important to set boundaries and have your own identity. So don’t feel guilty for having other plans; you deserve to live your life!
4. They are Dictating
Your friend becomes upset when you make decisions that don’t involve them.
You may feel trapped as they make you feel like you need their approval before making any moves. Their behaviour could even make you feel like you are not in control of your own life and can make you question your own autonomy.
It’s normal to want to pursue your own interests and goals, and you deserve to have friends who respect your boundaries and allow you to have a life outside of the friendship.
It’s important to remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness and have the freedom to make your own choices without feeling guilty.
5. They are Domineering
Your friend tries to control your appearance or who you should or should not hang out with.
Their possessiveness could even cause them to comment about your clothing, hairstyle or makeup or try to dictate who you should be friends with. They might also try to control your social media presence and even try to limit who you interact with online.
This type of control can make you feel like you are not in control of your life and question your autonomy. You may start to feel like you are being treated like a child and that your friend is acting more like a parent than a friend.
This can be especially painful if you are not asking for their opinion or if you are an adult.
It can also make you feel like you’re incapable of making your own decisions, which can be very hurtful and might lead to low self-esteem.
This possessiveness can be especially damaging to your self-esteem and self-worth and make you feel like you are not good enough. It’s good you remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness and have the freedom to make your own choices without feeling guilty.
As much as you may not want to put away a friend with this attitude, it’s essential to set boundaries and communicate your needs with them. If the behaviour continues, it may be necessary to reassess the friendship and decide if you want to continue with it.
What to Do About a Possessive Friend
It can be challenging to navigate a friendship where your friend displays a possessive attitude. It’s important to remember that possessiveness is not healthy in any relationship, and it’s important to take the necessary steps to protect yourself. Here are some things you can do to address the situation:
1. Communicate Your Feelings
Have an honest conversation with your friend about how their behaviour makes you feel. It is essential to be specific about the actions causing discomfort and express how they make you feel.
Be calm and assertive, but avoid being confrontational or aggressive. Letting your friend understand your perspective and make changes is essential. This can be a difficult conversation to have, but it is necessary for a healthy friendship.
2. Set Boundaries
Make it clear to your friend what you will and will not tolerate in your relationship. This could include limiting how often you communicate, when, and how you respond to their messages.
It could also include setting limits on how much time you spend together and making it clear that you have other obligations and relationships that are important to you. This will help to establish clear expectations and make it easier for your friend to understand what is and isn’t acceptable behaviour.
3. Seek Support
It can be helpful to talk to a trusted friend or family member about what you are going through. They can give you a different perspective and help you see the situation more clearly. They can also offer emotional support and help you cope with the stress and anxiety of having a possessive friend.
It’s also essential to seek professional support if the situation is causing significant distress.
4. Take Time for Yourself
Possessive friends can be emotionally draining, and it’s essential to take time for yourself to recharge. Make sure to do things you enjoy, and surround yourself with positive, supportive people. This will help to boost your mood and reduce stress.
You could engage in self-care activities such as yoga, meditation, reading, or exercise. It’s also important to take time to focus on your personal growth and development. This could include taking a class, learning a new skill, or pursuing a hobby.
By focusing on yourself and your own goals, you’ll gain a sense of fulfilment and satisfaction that may be lacking in the possessive friendship.
Also, by taking time for yourself and engaging in activities that bring you joy, you’ll be able to detach yourself from the stress and negative energy that your present relationship with your friend may be bringing to your life.
This will help you to gain a new perspective and to find the strength to make necessary changes to the friendship or even to walk away from it if necessary.
5. Assess the Relationship
If your friend’s possessive behaviour continues despite your efforts to address it, it may be necessary to reassess the friendship and consider if it is healthy for you to continue it.
It’s essential to take into consideration how friendship affects your emotional well-being and how much it limits your autonomy and self-expression. It’s important to remember that you deserve to be in a relationship that doesn’t choke you up or make you feel like you are stuck.
Always remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness and have the freedom to make your own choices without having someone make you feel like you are their property.
Parting Words
It’s been great exploring the topic of possessive friendships, and hopefully, you have gained some clarity and insight into the situation you are facing. Your friend’s possessive behaviour may stem from their own insecurities and fears, but it’s important to recognize that it is not acceptable and can have a negative impact on your well-being.
Remember, healthy relationships are built on trust, mutual respect, and open communication.
Take the time to reflect on the signs of possessiveness we have discussed and trust your instincts when it comes to determining what is best for you. It’s crucial to prioritize your own well-being and to make choices that align with your values and goals.
This could mean ending the friendship or working to establish healthier boundaries, knowing that you have the power to make the right decision for yourself.
Trust yourself and believe in your ability to make positive changes in your life, as you deserve to be in relationships that bring you joy, love, and support.